


Anxious | Richie Tozier

by dumbasscorn



Category: IT (1990), IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Clowns, Death, Depression, F/M, Medication, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Richie Tozier Flirts, Richie Tozier's Trashmouth, Scary Clowns, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-05-31 14:32:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19427908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbasscorn/pseuds/dumbasscorn
Summary: "Why the hell doesn't she talk? Is she mute or some shit?"This is also posted on Wattpad.https://www.wattpad.com/story/137230043-anxious-richie-tozier





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings; anxiety, death, night terrors, medication, bullying.   
> *I will update twos as I continue writing!*

Julia Marie Kaspbrak is a 14 year old girl who has straight cut, shoulder length, voluminous brown hair, pale freckled skin, light green eyes with a black spec in her right iris, and a soft smile. Her long lanky legs having constant scratches from her nervous tics. She towers over her 2-minute-younger little brother. 

Sister to the young, asthmatic boy, Eddie kaspbrak.  
Daughter to her over controlling mother, Sonia Kaspbrak.  
Daughter to the late Mr. Kaspbrak, who had passed from cancer when Julia and Eddie were 5.

The death of her father had left Julia with severe anxiety. She has been medicated for anxiety since a young age. The mental illness eventually caused Julia to stop talking and bottle everything up inside. The mere thought of talking to a stranger gives the girl panic attacks.

Although she goes to school everyday and deals with her problems, she hasn't gotten over her anxieties and shyness. It also doesn't help that the bowers gang, Greta Keene and her goons that she calls friends, never leave her alone. This irrational problem has left Julia with no friends.

Julia and Eddie are very close, bonding over their mother controlling every move they make. Eddie has introduced his friends to her a few times. She thought they were very nice, though she took a liking to one boy specifically.  
That boy is Richie Tozier.  
She liked how he was open about his opinions and not afraid to speak out about things. Something she has never been able to do herself. Julia is incredibly shy, not much of a talker. The most she talks to is Eddie, not even her mother. She usually only audibly answers to the few questions that her mothers asks that can't be answered with a shake of the head, nod of the head, or shrug of the shoulders.  
Julia refuses to talk much at school. She only talks to Eddie and her teachers, when they are alone.

When Julia isn't at school, she likes to go to her study in their home and read. She could spend hours reading. Reading and writing are her passions. Julia so badly wants to become an author when she grows older and finishes school. Writing is something that she has always been able to use as an outlet, because she could write about whatever she was feeling and not have to talk about it. Things like her crushes, her mother, her problems, everything.


	2. Chapter One - The Beginning

My throat felt as dry as the desert. My heart was pounding in my chest. Tears were threatening to fall down my cheeks. My breath was heavy and my chest felt like it was on fire.

Another panic attack.

That is what I woke up to.

Most nights I put off going to sleep, staying up as late as my body lets me. That is until the feeling of droopy eyes hits me and I slowly doze off into a terrible nightmare.

Every single night the same dream occurs.

I am around the age of 12, and although it's been a few years it still feels like yesterday since my dad passed.

A knock on the door interrupts Eddie and my mother's conversation.

My mother tells my brother and I to ignore it- that whoever it is was that important they would just walk in, before Eddie can argue with her logic we hear the door being knocked on again. Much harder than before. Mother gets up from her seat to go and see what all the fuss at the door is about. Eddie and I glanced at each other as mother opened the door, gasped, then broke out into a shrill while running towards us.

There he was.

My father.

Looking dead as ever.

His skin looking as if it was melting off his face.

Dark patches of open arm decomposing as he stands.

I heard Eddies inhaler go off, meaning his asthma started working up and his lungs were constricted. "Daddy?" I whimpered. The man who I thought was my father slowly turned his head to look at me, eyeing me up and down, starting to laugh.

This wasn't a normal laugh, it was maniacal.

He cackled as if he had just murdered someone and found it absolutely hysterical.

He sounded like an insane person.

"No." he bluntly stated in a newfound groggy voice, agonizingly slow while the laughing seized and his smile turned into a scowl.

At that point Eddie gripped my wrist pulling me into his room along with mother, once I grabbed her hand while speedily passing the table, running away from who I thought was my dead father.

As we were running up the stairs to Eddies room the man began to stumble his way into the house and towards the stairs, slowly but steadily.

With the door being locked and a chair pushed up under the knob, he wasn't going to get in. Hopefully, that is.

Once the man reached the door he started pounding on it, the wood beginning to chip off the door. Knuckles denting the doors frame.

My mother was cradling Eddie with all her might as I was sobbing in the corner awaiting my indefinite death from this stranger.

Once the fear was getting to be too much, I would wake up.

It was all a dream.

Yet again.

The same dream happened every night since my father died. I wish I had an explanation on why that dream keeps reoccurring, but I don't. Why would my subconscious make me believe a man who looked, talked and walked like my father would try to kill Eddie, my mother and I? My actual father would never. Well I hope he wouldn't. I don't know very much about him. He passed away of cancer when Eddie and I were 5. The most mother has ever slipped up about was that I looked just like father.

My mother has been stressed and incredibly overprotective of us since that day. She has to make sure there is absolutely nothing wrong with us every morning and night. If there was even the smallest cough, on the way to the hospital we go.

I was 10 when I had my first panic attack. When it had happened neither I nor mother knew what was happening. So mother threw Eddie and I in the car, driving way too fast down the road. I was on the verge of passing out when we arrived. The detailing of the car beginning to tunnel closer and closer to me. My mother ran into the hospital, leaving us kids in the car, screaming that her baby girl was on the verge of death.

Nurses quickly ran out to see what was going on and witnessed me having a panic attack.

Being out of breath, chest burning, sobs coming out of my mouth, tears streaming down my face, staring at the woman whose nose was a mere centimeter away from mine, I choked out what was wrong with me.

She brought me into a room, hooked me up on oxygen and gave me a shot that made me drearily calm. Mother calmed down the smallest bit when she saw that I was okay and had a steady heart rate again.

The doctor came in about 10 minutes later asking me what happened. I don't like talking therefore mother answered for me. He listened and replied saying that it sounded like a panic attack, he proceeded to ask if i knew what anxiety was. I shook my head, while mother yet again spoke for me saying a simple "no". The doctor nodded then proceeded to explain what anxiety was. He put it into words that I wouldn't even be able to recite from memory. I just remember him saying that it was a normal mental illness that many people have and that it was a chemical imbalance in my brain that I can't cure.

Once he finished telling me my diagnosis mother took him out into the hall, hoping I wouldn't hear. She badgered the doctor, asking if I was going crazy, if I needed to be put somewhere, if I was going to harm anyone, if there was medication I could take.

I was praying to any god out there that I wouldn't be put somewhere, that I wouldn't have to take medication, that I wouldn't develop the urge to harm anyone and that I wasn't indeed going crazy.

Thankfully, the doctor told mother that I was not going crazy and that I didn't need to be locked up in a faciltiy. The worst part was that he went on to say that there was a medication I could take to help soothe my nerves and prevent bad attacks like the one I had earlier.

Mother basically jumped at that offer, asking if he could write a prescription. The doctor agreed hastily. Coming into the room, the doctor relayed to me that I will take a medication just before I go to sleep, with a glass of water.

At this point I was over being in an uncomfortable cot so I just nodded along while he started filling out a paper. He wished me luck with my troubles and left the room while mother thanked him.

Great. Just great.

Apparently I'm on crazy person medication now.

If anybody at school finds out, I am dead. Everybody will avoid me like the plague, hoping they don't catch whatever disease that made me crazy.

Eddie kept his eyes on me the entire time, watching my every move. He was noticeably worried. I looked at him, "you're not crazy, ya know?" he quietly spoke, in fear that mother would hear. I shrugged while moving my eyes to look at the wall behind him, "some would say differently".

From then on nobody talked about that day, Eddie even held back from telling his friends until I was okay with it, and he tells them everything.

After waking up the way I did, I went into the hallway with my towel and robe to take a refreshing shower.

The door was shut while the light was on, Eddie must be in there.

Sitting on the hardwood floor under my feet, I set my things in my lap. While waiting for him to finish, I worked on getting my breathing under control.

I was picking at the loose frail ends of the towel when the door opened, Eddie walked out bluntly stating, "all yours". I nodded, getting up. I walked into the bathroom, quickly shutting the door and twisting the lock.

Turning on the water to a good temperature, I started to pull my hair tie out of my hair. Once the not-so-clean-hair cascaded onto my shoulders, I impatiently pulled off the sweat filled pajamas, eagerly wanting to be clean again.

Finishing up my shower, I wrapped my hair into a dull gray towel and my body into the fluffy pink robe.

Unlocking the door, I peaked my head out to see if anyone was in the hallway. I sped walked to my door. Once in my room, I began to get dressed. An old yellow shirt with my favorite pair of blue ripped up and faded jeans.

I walked to my blue rimmed mirror, grabbing my hair brush and slowly brushed the knots out of my hair. After brushing my hair I tied it up into a tight pony tail, pushing down the baby hairs at the front of my hair line.

Before leaving my room I put on white socks with rainbows on them and high top black chucks.

When out of my stuffy room I walked towards the stair case and made my way down them. I headed towards the kitchen where mother and Eddie were sitting. Eddie was in the process of swallowing cereal while mother was drinking her black coffee.

I popped some toast into the toaster and began to pour myself water out of the pitcher. Once the toast was browned I put it onto a paper towel, sitting at the wooden table next to my brother and starting to listen in on their conversation while taking bites of my crunchy toast.

"Good morning Juls, how did you sleep?" mother asked when she finally noticed me. I shrugged, not feeling the urge to speak. She sighed, getting up to take Eddies bowl to the sink since he just slurped up the last of the milk.

"Oh hey did you wanna ride with me to school today?" Eddie asked, I quickly shook my head no.

"Yes, you are" mother said walking back from rinsing off the bowl, "I'm not having one of my kids go missing. You are to ride with your brother to school today and back everyday from here on out, got it?".

I took a deep breath and nodded disappointedly.

My morning walk to school was the only peaceful, quiet thing I had going for me today. Especially since it was the last day and Eddie rides to school with his friends. Although the boys are nice, they can be loud and incredibly annoying.

I have met them a few times but have never spoken, just gotten introduced.

Eddie softly spoke up, "it'll be fun I promise". I gave him a look. What's fun about boys yelling, being reckless and arguing with each other over something that won't matter in about 5 seconds?

Might be fun to Eddie but sure as hell won't be for me.

I think Eddie is secretly hoping I will befriend and start speaking to his friends, but it's a definite no from me. Friends talk all the time, even have actual conversations about things that don't matter whatsoever. I don't even enjoy talking to mother. Why waste my time on someone who will not be talking to me in the next year or so anyway.

I'd rather keep to myself and my books. Reading won't abandon me.

"Julia, Eddie! Come on and hurry up! If you guys don't leave in the next minute you will be late." I nodded, yet again. Crumbling the paper towel with a fresh layer of bread crumbs on it, I get up and throw it away.

I look at Eddie and he gets the hint to 'let's go'. Getting up out of the chipped wooden chair, he grabs both of our book bags off the ground and hands me my raggedy black one. We begin to walk out the almost now gray door, of course not before giving mother a kiss goodbye on the cheek before leaving.

May god help me with the annoyance I am about to endure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're reading this, I'm so sorry kjdnsj


	3. Chapter Two - The Meeting.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie doesn't know when to shut up

"Hey Ed's! I've been waiting for ya for like 5 hours, where ya been? Oh hey, you brought hot stuff!"

"Richie stop calling me that! Don't call my sister hot stuff, either! And it's only been 2 minutes, what are you going on about? 5 hours!"

I just stared at the two arguing boys, ignoring the name the lanky trashmouth called me.

Alongside Richie stood Stanley Uris. His curly hair flopped on his head. Pretty.

"Where's Bill?" my brother asked, Stanley answered back "meeting us there, something about a last minute science project."

Bill Denbrough.

I feel for that poor boy. His brother got his arm gnawed off by the sewer and nobody knows what happened to the rest of him. Nobody even knows if the kid is still alive. Although Bill has high hopes, I don't think Georgie is still alive. There's no way. Being gone that long at such a young age? No food, no supervision, his arm not even attached to his body anymore? It'd be a miracle if he was found at this point. Eddie always comes home telling me what theory Bill has today about what could've happened to Georgie and where they should search next. I'm forbidden from telling mom this information. His current theory is that he's in the sewers. I'm almost sure the young boy is long gone but I pray every night that Bill will get closure, or at least find out what happened to his brother. I know what it feels like to lose somebody. I mean, I lost my dad when I was five but I still understand the pain of losing somebody close to you.

At least our family knows what happened to daddy.

Once Eddie was satisfied with Stanley's answer, he nodded and started leading us to school. Richie quickly followed, lazily throwing his arm around Eddie. Stanley glanced at me, grinned and began following the other two. I quietly followed behind all three.

Thank god it's the last day.

I hate school. Hates a strong word, I know, I should at least say strongly despise. But seriously, I hate school. There's maybe 3 nice people in the entire place. How unfortunate.

Richie turns his head towards Eddies ear, "what's up with your sister? She didn't even say hi". You could tell Richie was attempting to be quiet, I kept my sight on the floor.

"Ya know man, she got that thing. Leave her alone." Eddie defended.

"Yeah Richie. Don't be rude" Stanley agreed.

All three boys looked at me at the same time. Richie awkwardly waved.

"G-guys!" Bill thankfully interrupted the tense, uncomfortable situation. Not yet seeing me, Bill ran up to the boys. The four of us slowly began to brake our bikes.

"Ah! Billy! Where've ya been!" Richie yelled in an accent while ruffling Bills hair.

"R-richie stop i-it."

Bill glanced over at me, "h-hey Julia"

I just stared. Didn't even nod in acknowledgment, just stared.

"Freaky" Richie butted in, in a hushed voice.

"R-richie stop" "Don't be an ass" Bill and Stanley sputtered out in retaliation.

"No, seriously! Why the hell doesn't she talk? Is she mute or some shit?" Eddie smacked him upside the head, "Richieee".

"Richie!"

"R-richie"

As the boys were sticking up for me I walked past them, glaring at the four eyed boy who didn't know how to keep his mouth shut. I quickly set my bike in the bike rack and walked towards the creaky, peeling front door of the school. On my way up the few steps, I was reading the sign that they had put up. It's been on display since the kids have been going missing.

'REMEMBER THE CURFEW 7 P.M.'

It's chilling to see that everyday and know that I could be one of the misfortunate to go missing at any point. Though mother is very adamant on being home an hour before the towns curfew.

"Ah come on, it wasn't mean! Was just a question!" "Can it Tozier." Will this boy ever learn to keep his opinions to himself? They get him in trouble constantly. He could, and should, just shut up. I've been theorizing that he likes the attention the comments bring him. Good or bad. He obviously doesn't care. I like that he is open about his opinions, but man that kid doesn't have a filter.

I opened the buildings door, adjusting my shirt and walking in with my eyes to the floor. I suddenly felt a rough shove on my shoulder, "move it or lose it, freak!".

Greta Keene. Also known as the bane of my existence.

I absolutely despise this bitch. Along with all of her so called friends, who seem to just be there to egg Greta on.

After rudely shoving me Greta snottily walked past me with her friends. Making sure I saw her wipe the hand that she pushed me with on her pants, laughing. It's too early for this kind of shit. Bullies have no sense of time, I swear.

Not far behind, Eddie and his friends stood. Eddie quickly came over to me once he saw Greta walking off, "Juls! Are you okay?". The others were soon standing behind Eddie. I impatiently nodded. I looked at the boys who were staring at me and quickly walked to my first class, once again with my head down.

Gripping the handle to the red door, I turned it, opening it to face the humid room. I entered and sat in my seat at the front.

"Good morning Julia. Nice to see you showed up." I rolled my eyes and put my head down onto the desk.

Yesterday mother let me stay home, because my nightmare was worse than usual and I had ran to her room in the middle of the night sobbing. Eddie and I talked about it once he got home.

The warning bell rang. Hearing the door slam open, I kept my head down and my eyes shut.

"H-hey" I heard as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I lifted my head quickly, not expecting anyone to talk to me, to see who bothered me. Even though the stutter already gave it away. I looked Bill in the eyes, "sorry a-about Richie. H-he's an idiot". I grinned a little, nodded the smallest nod, put my head back down and yet again let my eyes shut.

Hearing the chair next to me being pulled out, I assumed it was bill.

Sadly, I was wrong.

"Hey! Julia is it? Damn, I feel bad for you. You have to share a bathroom with your mom! Yikes. Heard she has crabs." I picked my head up and glared.

He raised his eyebrows along with his hands, "hey hey it's not my fault your mom gets around, if ya know what I mean" Richie defensively replied, with a wink and a smirk. Dick.

"R-richie! Stop i-it."

Richie absentmindedly shrugged.

The final bell rang. The door flew open and a bunch of kids started filing in. Once all the seats were filled with antsy teens, the teacher started talking. I lifted my head to be respectful. Richie tapped me on my shoulder, "hey I was just joking with ya before. Got a pencil?"

"Tozier! Quiet. I am teaching." The class giggled. They find everything hilarious. Quite annoying, actually. Richie's cheeks flushed a deep red. Once the teacher had finished scolding Richie, Richie pretending like he wasn't embarrassed about getting yelled at. Blowing it off as if it was nothing. His cheeks said differently.

"What's he gonna do? Give me a detention on the last day? Puhhh-lease." The trash mouth muttered to himself. I cracked a small grin but dropped it immediately when Richie's head turned towards me.

"Pencil?" He whispered this time, I handed him the one that I was fiddling with to shut him up. Didn't want the idiot getting in trouble again.

"Ah thank ya, ma lady!" He said in an English accent he, horribly, attempted to imitate. I nodded, not turning my head from the teacher.

From my peripheral version I could see Richie doodling on a piece of paper. The paper that our teacher had just passed down the rows that our desks lied in.

He's going to get in trouble again.

This kid.

Good things it's the last day. Only a few more hours until I can sit in my study, peacefully reading. Or so I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this is poorly written :D


	4. Chapter Three - The Bathroom

I was captivated by my book when I heard the bell ring, signaling that study hall was over. Waiting until everybody else sped walked out of the muggy classroom, I gathered my belongings and headed toward the chipping red door.

"Have a great summer, Julia. Keep reading." my English teacher Miss. Stevens croaked out. I've always been her favorite student. The mean old lady would never admit it, but I always knew she cared for me more than just any other student. I grinned wide enough that my teeth were beginning to poke out, I nodded in reciprocation.

Bringing my eyes back toward my beat up chucks, I made my way into the bustling hallway. God, why do these imbeciles run and slam into each other when they already know we won't be here for a while? The hell is the point? We're all heading toward the same summer break.

I kept an eye out for myself, in fear that the Bower's gang would find me and patronize the 'mute'. Like they always do at the end of a school day.

It must be my lucky day.

Making my way through the shoving kids, I felt a tug at my shoulder. Already on edge, I snapped my head toward whoever had the balls to tug at me. It was just Eddie.

"Have to walk with me, remember? Mom's rules."

He's always doing whatever she says. I just want to walk alone. Sadly, I don't have much of a choice anymore.

I rolled my eyes and turned around to meet him eye to eye. He pathetically tried to give me finger guns and a smile. Didn't work. Eddie grabbed my wrist and pulled my sluggish self to catch up with his friends. When approaching we heard Bill asking how'd it work, whatever that means. Apparently Eddie knew right away. He jumped right into the conversation.

"They slice part of his penis off."

Richie rebutted, "that can't be true. He'd have nothing left."

Eddie took a puff off his inhaler as I widened my eyes. Boys are so gross.

Stanley quickly defended, "thats a real knee-slapper, Richie. So funny I forgot to laugh." I grinned a little. To my luck, the boys pretended I wasn't there. That, or they just didn't realize I was there.

"So which is it? Knee-slapper or you forgot to laugh?" Richie smirked at Stanley.

Bill cut in, "Be s-serious, Stan. W-what happens?"

Richie quickly added, "yeah, and I think the rabbi is going to pull down your pants, turn to the crowd and say 'where's the beef'!"

Stanley huffed out, "I don't know, I read some stuff from the Torah and make a speech and suddenly I become a man."

Of course, Richie had to voice his opinion. "That sounds like a lot of work. I became a man by banging Ed's and Miss I-don't-speak's mom." I rolled my eyes disgustingly, along with Eddie. Apparently someone had realized I was there.

Stanley spoke for the both of us, "Richie. Gross."

I poked Eddie and nodded at the girls bathroom. He got the hint and told me he would meet me by the bike rack. I nodded and crossed the hall.

Pulling the heavy door, I smelt the smell of smoke and heard Greta's voice while her friends were holding a black trash bag to the sinks faucet.

Greta heard the door shut and turned her head toward me. Dread filled my body. "If you try to pull some heroic shit, I will like, kick your ass. Seriously."

I rolled my eyes, walked toward a stall, locked its door and just stood there. I knew nothing good was going to happen. Nothing ever does with that bitch. Greta began banging on the other stalls door.

She must've kicked the door, "are you in there by yourself Beaverly? Or do you have half the guys in the school with you, huh slut?"

I heard a cigarette being put out on the stall wall that connected to the one I was in.

"I know you're in there, little shit. I can smell you. No wonder you have no friends."

The rumored-to-be-school-slut spoke up, "which is it Greta? Am I a slut, or a little shit? Make up your mind." I smirked.

Greta heard the faucet being turned off and coughed out, "you're trash. Just wanted to remind you."

One of her goons added in, "you're such a loser."

Trashy water was thrown over the next stall over and made its way to the floor. The potent smell of shit made its way to my stall, remnants getting on my shoes.

"Well, at least now you'll smell better."

I angrily sucked my teeth. What the fuck?

Bullying an innocent girl and getting shit water on my shoes?

I licked my lips, quickly unlocked the stalls door, kicked the shit water off of my shoes and made my way to Greta. I looked the perky bully up and down.

"What's the mute going to do, huh? Shake her head? Ha!" Greta got in my face.

I balled my fists. My knuckles were paling. My heart was beating a thousand miles per minute. My cheeks reddened. I am so tired of seeing bullies run this school. Greta was still laughing with her friends when I raised my fist. I decked her right in the nose. Blood began to profusely pour out. Greta stuck her hands on her face, as if to catch the blood, gasping. "You'll pay for this, you goddamn mute. I'm gonna fuckin' kill you. I swear it. Lets go girls."

I kept my stone cold eyes set on her and her 'friends' as they left the bathroom, coddling Greta. Once gone, I heard the stall door unlock and open slowly. Beverly stood there, book bag dripping with shit water and all. The fiery red head grinned hardly at me, "you didn't have to do that. She'll be after you now. She won't stop."

I raised my eyebrows, smirked and shrugged while letting out the smallest "oh well" I possibly could. "Holy fuck, you talk? I thought you couldn't? Your voice is so soft and cute? Holy fuck? " Beverly gaped. I smiled, turned on my heels and made my way toward the heavy door, yet again.

I was finally making my way to the exit when a thought struck me.

I didn't even get to pee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> julia said i HAVE a backbone


	5. Chapter Four - Nice Frisbee, Flamer

Walking to the big steel doors that led to the exit, I decided to hold my bladder. Couldn't make a badass exit and then awkwardly walk back in to pee.

Pushing the creaky door, I took a deep breath. Finally, some fresh air. No more sweaty pre teens invading my nostrils.

I heard a noise and my eyes darted to the boys dumping the contents of their backpacks into the trash. Speaking of trash, I've decided to not tell Eddie about the bathroom situation. He would tell mother and I would never hear the end of it.

Pulling me out of my dazed state, I heard Richie speaking loudly.

"Sure they will. In a ditch. All decomposed, covered in worms and maggots and smelling like Eddie's mom's va-" he is cut off by Eddie shoving him and Bill beginning to talk about the barrens.

"You know, the barrens aren't that bad. Who doesn't love splashing around in shitty water?"

Being pulled by his backpack, Richie falls into Stanley. Both boys tumble to the ground, Stanley's yarmulke falling off and Richie's glasses sliding down to the tip of his nose.

"Nice frisbee, flamer."

Patrick Hockstetter throws Stanley's yarmulke into a school buses window that was passing. Belch Huggins releases a giant burp into Eddie's ear whilst pushing him around.

Bowers smirks when he spots me watching from the sidelines, "Oooooh Miss. Mute, why don't ya come and join us down here? You'll enjoy it, I promise." Henry curled his finger at me and gestured me over. Already angry, I slowly walked over, eyeing Eddie the whole time. Maybe they wouldn't do any damage to Eddie if I was there.

My brothers friends all worriedly glance at me as I reach the group. As a way of showing that I was not intimidated, I stared Bowers in the eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Whatcha doing here this late? You're usually long gone by now. We're catcalling you by now, babe." Henry was twirling his finger around the short hair that was framing my face. I gave him no reaction. I've learned that a reaction makes him feel as if I was intimidated, therefore inferior. He ran his finger down my cheekbone, glancing to Eddie. "I'll fuck her one day, make her scream. You and your shitty friends can't do anything about it." He chuckled, backed away, grabbed his crotch and eyed me the entire time. I kept my face the same. I kept everything hidden. He'll never get the satisfaction of intimidation that he so desperately craves from me.

I'll never let this dumbass touch me. If he actually thinks I'll ever do anything sexual with him, he's dead wrong.

The gang decided they were done messing with the boys and I. Bowers side checked Bill, which resulted in the rest of us watching Bill turn angry.

"You s-s-s-suck, Bowers."

All three bullies slowly turn back around to the stuttering boy, "you s-s-s-say something, b-b-b-b-Billy? You got a free ride this year cause of your little brother. Rides over, Denbrough."

Bowers glanced over Bill's head. Henry's dad is standing across the street from where his son was bullying the boys and harassing me. Henry looked back down to Bill, trying to hide himself from being obviously intimidated, "this summer is gonna be a hurt train, for you and your loser friends." Henry licked his already dirty hand and wiped it onto Bill's cheek.

Finally leaving, Henry gave me one last wink. I looked at Eddie with a grimace painted on my face, his reply was a weak smile. We all watched the bullies hop into Belch's trans am,

"I wish he'd go missing."

"He's probably the one doing it."

With my face as red as a tomato, I grow tired of hearing the boys talking. I headed toward the racks holding the bicyles.

"Wait!" Richie ran after me, "why is your knuckle bleeding? Kick someones ass?" I paused my walking, looked at the boy who had seemed to have already recovered from the bullying, rolled my eyes and proceeded to keep walking to retrieve my bike.

I just wanted to go home. I wanted to read my books.

Eddie caught up with us, a bandaid and antiseptic ointment already being pulled out of his fanny back. He gets right to work, mumbling "the hell did you do? You went to the bathroom, what could've happened?" He finished up and all of us went to our separate bikes.

Eddie nodded at me, telling me that after riding down Richie's street to drop him off we will take Neibolt street as a quick route home. I nodded back at him. Richie, Eddie and I all turned another way from the other boys, waving a goodbye.

The ride was quiet. All that was heard was the peddling from all three of our bikes.

Reaching Richie's street, he pulled off toward his house waving at Eddie and I, sending a wink my way. I looked at Eddie with a in disgust, he sighed and waved me to keep on riding alongside him.

Once we reached Neibolt street, I steered closer to Eddie.

This street creeps the hell out of me.

There is one specific house that makes the entire street eerie. The Neibolt house. Everybody who lives in Derry knows the Neibolt house and the rumors surrounding it. Nobody dares go into the dilapidated house.

Eddie's watch beeped, signaling it was time for him to take his medication.

Mother never told me what exactly those pills did for him. I once asked Eddie and he told me that it was for something that was too long for him to remember and to ask mother. Having a lot of knowledge in the medical field out of worry for my brother, I am convinced that his medication is a placebo. A mere sugar pill that the doctor prescribed to Eddie to keep mother happy and stop her from pestering physicians at the doctors office.

That's when I started believing rumors about how people thought mother was crazy. I would never tell Eddie. Not about the placebo pills, his 'asthma', or my thoughts about mother. Maybe I will tell him once I move out. The last thing Eddie needs is someone telling him that he might not be sick at all. He'd never believe me and would tell mother what I told him. It would result in me getting in trouble in the end. I've decided years ago that I will tell him someday, just not right now.

Eddie braked to a stop, making me halt alongside him. He tried his hardest to open the pill bottle and take its contents as quick as possible. I laid my chin on my handle bars as he was stressing, trying to finish up and get off of Neibolt street. Eddie fumbled the bottle and accidentally dropped the pills to the floor, where they scattered. Anxiously looking at me he got off of his bike, fell to his knees and tried to pick up the fallen pills. I jumped off my bike, helping to pick the pills up. 

I heard Eddie gasp.

I saw drool drip and land right in front of the tips of my chucks and a snarl be directed toward me.

Maybe it wasn't my lucky day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda finally getting somewhere ksjdf. shouldn't get my hopes up cause i haven't even written for this since May lol. Oh! by the way, yes, I do know that the quote "this summer is gonna be a hurt train, for you and your loser friends." is incorrect. I edited out the homophobic slur because I don't feel comfortable writing it.


	6. Chapter Five - Our First Sighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really sorry for the short chapter. :( All I’ve had motivation to write was this chapter and it’s not even good kjsdsfj. I just thought that I might as well put it out because I’ll never be completely happy with it. Hope you enjoy!

My protective side had built up enough courage for me to look up when I heard the thing ask my brother, “do you think this will help me, Eddie?” 

Its face was disproportionate. It looked as if its nose was caving in on itself. One of Its cheekbones had collapsed. Taking one glance at Its sunken eyes, a drool filled mouth and straggly blonde hair, I immediately fell on my backside, along with Eddie. I stopped in my tracks from being petrified. 

Eddie called out to me, “Julia damnit, get away from It!” 

Anxiety and adrenaline, finally doing its job, pumped through our veins as we attempted to crawl away from the creature as fast as we could. I saw Eddie speeding toward the Neibolt House to free himself from the thing. I quickly jumped to my feet, grabbing Eddie’s shaking hand and booked it toward the back of the house.

The thing chased after us, nearly snatching my shirt. That is when Eddie began screaming, “Help! Help!” 

In our rush of fear we had not noticed that we were running into a dead-end. Eddie starting screaming at the top of his lungs whilst I tried to find a way through the weed covered metal gate. I felt constant rough taps on my shoulder. Having enough of Eddie repeatedly tapping my shoulder and breathing vehemently, I looked at him. He pointed toward the back porch of the disgustingly dirty house. 

My heart was in my ass.   
My breathing started to pick up, matching with Eddie’s gasps.   
My palms started to get clammy.   
My forehead starting to precipitate.   
“Ed,” I whimpered while not leaving the clowns eyesight,   
“God I hope we don’t die today. I have a book to read.” 

My brother looked at me wide-eyed. Shrugging, I turned back toward the clown. Balloons clouding Its face, I looked at what It was wearing. A white clown suit playing as Its clothing, almost considered gray from how dirty it was. Lace and puff balls covered Its neck and lining of the suit. 

The red balloons began to disperse upwards, away from Its face. It creepily smiled toward Eddie, slowly glazing Its eyes toward me, then back toward my brother.

“Where ya going, Eds? How about you, Juls? If you were me you’d be home right now. Come join the clown. Eds, Juls, we all float down there. We’ll float down there. Yes, we do.” 

While Eddie kept his eyes on the apparent killer clown, I turned back around and started looking for another way through the gate. I heard It start maliciously cackling at my brother.   
Sparing the clown a split second of attention, It turned its head toward me. The hand of the clown raised above its giggling head and began to wave with all of its might.  
Eddie gripped my hand in his and pulled me toward an outing of the gate that I had yet to find.

With the giggling ceasing and a gnarly growl emitting from the clown, I pushed Ed into the hole and made sure he was on the other side. 

With newfound courage, I had turned back around toward the clown. Mentally preparing myself to fight a killer clown from harming my brother, I faced It again, only to see that It had disappeared. It was gone. As if It had vanished in thin air. How is that possible? 

After listening to Eddie scream my name a solid 10 times, I gave in and followed him through the hole. With both of our knees filled with dirt, we stared at each other, fear halting our movement. Shock plummeted our thoughts toward the negative.

I watched as a single tear made its way down Eddies face, I brushed away the fear that holed its way into my chest and wallowed in the protectiveness that I had toward my brother. Wrapping my arms around Eddie, I whispered, “It’s gone now. I won’t let it touch you. Promise.”

Eddie let himself cry in my arms as I glared at the house. Disgust, determination, anger and the tiniest bit of fear filled my chest. I don’t know how, but I will kill that clown. No matter what it takes. I am not going to let something scare my brother as much as it did and get away with it. 

Wiping away the last of my brothers tears, I pulled him up off the ground. We both started to speed walk as fast as we could back to mothers house. I can go back to retrieve my bike tomorrow morning. 

Why do such unfortunate things keep happening to us? Beats me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve read over this chapter I swear it could’ve easily been 30 times looking for mistakes/sentences that didn’t make sense/ etc. So, if you find anything like that just please nicely let me know lol.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm an amateur writer sorry lol.


End file.
